Just like how boys were categorized into meaningless categories, so were girls. For every Party Boy is a Party Girl. For every Alpha Male is a Domineering Bitch. For every Nice Guy is a sweet Girl-Next-Door. Yet, whatever your dating history, you will probably date these 4 girls in your life:
1. Youth – the right person you meet at the wrong time
She’s the one you wrote silly love notes to. She’s the girl who made you lose focus at school. Before you met her, school was just boys and balls. But after you met her, she became the reason why you even looked forward to school. She’s the one who made you conscious about your looks. She’s the one that you got nervous going out with, because when most saw you as just a kid, she saw you as her man. She’s the reason why you spent much of your time as a teenager in buses and trains.
She’s the one you liked enough to attempt all your firsts – your first date, your first attempt in holding a girl’s hand, your first kiss. But she is also the first you lose. Not because you didn’t love her but because growing up, you realize that in life, some stay and others go, and that sometimes we don’t just grow up, we also grow apart. Youth – she was your first girlfriend. She was your first heartbreak.
2. Love – the right person you meet at the right time
She’s the pretty girl who randomly caught your eye. She’s the stranger you wanted to find out more about. She’s the one you spend time befriending rather than rushing out for a date. Over time, you see that she’s the reason why things didn’t work out previously. All of a sudden, you realize the past heartbreaks were all worthwhile.
She’s the girl you don’t just send to the doorstep but enter home with hand-in-hand. She’s the girl who plays the Playstation with you at home. She’s the girl who’d rather cuddle with you in the comfy couch watching TV than heading out to the theatres for a movie. She’s the one you’re proud to be seen with in town when she’s all glamorously made up, in heels. But she’s also the one whose beauty goes beyond skin deep that you’re happy to cuddle her in bed, even when she’s bare faced and in baggy PJs.
She’s watched you grow from being the boy who spent hours in the bus/train to being a man behind the wheel. Unlike Youth, Love knows you inside out. Somehow, she understands that you too have your own life. She never gets into a fit when you have to spend time with the boys at the soccer pitch. Somehow, she always knows when you were having a bad day and need a hug. With Love, everything is effortless and natural.
She’s the girl you’re proud to bring home to your parents. She’s caring like your mother, irritating like your sister but loving like no other. You don’t fear the commitment because with Love, everything feels like it was meant to be. For the lucky boy, Love is not just the right girl, but also the one he marries and grows old with. For the average Joe, Love simply is the one that got away.
3. Pleasure – the random person you meet at any time
She’s the girl you met at a party/club/bar. She was your friend’s friend. What first started out as a cheeky moment transformed into something special. She’s the one your friends don’t know you’ve gotten really close to.
She’s the one you admire because she’s the rare girl who’s confident enough to be with you without a status. But little do you realize that maybe she’s the girl who likes you so much, she accepts the lack of status just to be with you. She’s the one who’s always there when you’re looking for some fun. She’s the one who looks you in the eye with a special twinkle in the eye, for only you both know what previously transpired.
You like her but you don’t love her. She’s fun but she’s not the one. They call her No Strings Attached. But you know, Pleasure, really is your dirty little secret.
4. Marriage – the wrong person you meet at the right time
She’s the one you imagine doing your dishes, the one you imagine making your bed every morning. She’s the one whose looks are pleasant enough to have your kids. She is the mini version of your mom, less the nagging and the wrinkles. Ok, just kidding.
Marriage – she’s the confident independent one. She earns her own keep and leads her own life. She’s the one who wakes up strutting down the business district in heels. She isn’t as cute or innocent like Youth. She isn’t as sweet or endearing as Love. Neither is she naughty like Pleasure. You probably didn’t even think you’d fall for a girl like Marriage. But this moment happens to most men, especially working men. You wake up one day and realize that all of a sudden, you’ve lost interest in fun and short-lived pursuits. You’re tired of the chase. You’re tired of hellos that only end up goodbyes. You’re tired of girls trying to squeeze their materialistic buys off you. You realize that at the end of the day, all you really want is someone to be genuinely there for you. Not someone to get frisky with in bed but someone to cuddle to sleep.
By the time you meet Marriage, you recognize meaningful relationships are built on trust, not lust. You look at your beer belly and finally accept the fact that everyone (including you) isn’t always going to be young and fit. You figure out that life isn’t about slogging like a bitch at work, only to down beer at the bar night after night.
Marriage is ultimately the one you spend the rest of your life with, not because she’s hot, not because she’s fun but because she’s what you need. She’s the face you won’t grow sick of over time. She’s the independent woman who engages you intellectually, not just physically. She’s the woman who understands what it means to have had a hard day at work. More importantly, she’s unlike Youth, Love and Pleasure who needed to be pampered all the damn time. She understands that love is more than just roses but that love is about being there for each other. Most importantly, she’s the partner who’s capable enough for you to build your dreams with. Whether it’s raising your kids or maintaining your future home, you know she’s up to it.
For some, Youth, Love, Pleasure and Marriage are one and the same girl. For others, Youth, Love, Pleasure and Marriage may be 4 different girls.
Yet, regardless of whether it’s Youth, Love, Pleasure or Marriage who’s in your life, one thing stays true. That is, respect your girl. Never take her for granted or give her shit, for Erick. S. Gray says, “Whatever you give a woman, she will only make greater. Give her your sperm, she’ll give you a baby. Give her a house, she’ll give you a home. Give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. Give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!”
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