Maybe you knew her through a friend. Maybe you knew him online. How you first met doesn’t matter, because fundamentally it’s the same thing. He/she catches your eye and you start texting. Conversations flow naturally. The first date is exactly how you envisioned it to be – wonderful and not one bit awkward. You wonder why you guys never met earlier.
All of a sudden, hope is restored. Maybe she’s the right girl. Maybe he’s the right boy.
Finally, you wake up looking forward to morning text messages. Finally, you have a special someone to brunch with, someone cute to take selfies with. Yet just as things seem to be going right, things take a turn south. The texting becomes less affectionate. The outings become less frequent. At the back of your mind, you know something is amiss but you delay asking what’s wrong. After all, you don’t want to appear too eager and life is busy, as is. Yet without you realising, you find out that it has been weeks. By then, you figure maybe she’s not as right as you imagined her to be. And so you move on.
Welcome to the modern dating scene. These people we date, the More-than-friends-not-yet-our-lovers, they’re neither Youth, Love, Pleasure nor Marriage. While there were fond memories, they’re just faded, transient moments. They’re like the grey area, the spaces that fall in between.
A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe forever.
500 Days of Summer is my favourite movie, not because it’s romantic but because it’s realistic. As a young girl, I grew up thinking that God made everything in pairs. Adam had Eve, Grandma had Granddad, Mom had Dad. Even my male puppy, Russell eventually had Pebbles, the female puppy we eventually brought home. I grew up believing in love, the very notion that for every boy was a girl. My grandparents would shout at each other, but never once did I wake up with fear wondering if either of them would walk out from me.
One day it dawned upon me. Today, we fall in love but fail to love. We used to learn to love, but now, we just yearn for love.
Could progression be the cost of love today? The interconnectedness we enjoy today has introduced a plethora of options that convince us that when things don’t go right, something better always awaits. Just like how the average life span of items have dropped, so have the life span of modern relationships. Things which were once built to last, but now just seem to be built for lust.
I see phones as a reflection of modern day love. Like our lovers, we’re much more attached to our phones today than in the past. But herein lies the irony, while we’re much more reliant on our phones today, we replace them as soon as something better comes along. At the back of our minds, we know nothing is wrong but yet we convince ourselves that what we have is no longer good enough. We justify the need for something new. And perhaps the modern product life cycle is a subtle yet deep reflection of the modern relationships we see today.
While there’s no stopping of the shortening of product life cycles, I hope we’ll never let the day-to-day habits we subconsciously cultivate, turn us into flippant people who only speak of love.
I pray you love. Because unlike falling in love, there’s no falling out with Love.