before i met you

Before I met you, I’d wake up to several good morning texts. I’d fall asleep to several “Goodnights”. Different faces, new places. I thought I knew what dating should feel like. But boy was I wrong.

Before I met you, I lived in the now. The people I’d meet, the memories I had, they changed so quickly. Happiness was like getting high in a club, ­­­it was amazing but transient. The names my friends heard me mention months ago, seldom got mentioned again. I spent freely. I did as I pleased. I thought I had it all, or moments so they call.

Before I met you, security came in the form of text messages and notifications. The more I had, the more loved I felt. Yet, it was never enough. Friends who were hooked onto dating apps introduced me to Tinder, the app that made the simple action of swiping left and right empowering.

Before I met you, I was never truly attached to anything or anyone. I was secure, or so I thought.

After I met you, everything else was history.

I’d wake up to one good morning text and fall asleep to just one “Goodnight”. Weekends were no longer about going on pretentious dates all made up, but snuggling up to you in the comfort of T-shirt and shorts, watching our favourite TV show.

After I met you, I realised less is more. One good morning text is enough. One late night call is enough. One is enough. Because when you meet the right person, one is really all you need.

After I met you, I realised life wasn’t just about living in the now, but also about the how. I started to think about how my life should be, I started to think how I could be a better me. Nights spent hitting the clubs were now spent hitting the couch.

After I met you, I realised I never needed an app to swipe left and right on the phone because I unconsciously found myself doing so while viewing photos of us. Security doesn’t come in the form of text notifications or Instagram likes. Security means being happy in the absence of validation from strangers, simply because you know you’ve got your place in someone’s heart.

You showed me how comfortable-happy was way more amazing than the excitement of being pursued. You showed me how the boyfriend, best friend and playmate could all merge as one.

Before I met you, my love story comprised of many short independent stories. It featured characters from different walks of life. Since I met you, that book was shut and I started writing again. This time, not stories that ended soon after its start but a story that turned right again after every down turn.

And, perhaps this is what love is. Not a series of short independent stories, but a novel that speaks of ups and downs. While most hope for a happy ending, I hope ours never ends.

Before I met you, life was about me. But now, life is about us.

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Founder and Editor of Jcheongwrites, she writes about love and life.

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